“It’s crazy how 1,000 people can compliment you and you’ll spend all day thinking about the one person who criticized you.”
Hmmm…I can relate.
There is this time I anchored a talk show during an international conference. My performance was simply good, by my assessment. People thought I was brilliant! Though somewhat surprised, I basked in the compliments. Just as I received a compliment from a well-respected leader of our organisation, a friend accused me of bias. He said I put one of the guests of the show on the spot with needless questions and unfair comments, because the guest is not a Nigerian. What?
I reeled back from the verbal assault. That is how I felt it, an assault. One moment I was basking in the warmth of much praise, the next I was enveloped in the chilling cold of a negative comment.
The compliments that came afterwards were like water on a duck’s back. I dwelt on that single feedback long enough for my mind to be so numbed I almost did not gain anything from the rest of the conference. Thankfully, I was buoyed up by the compliments. Dwelling on them dispelled the negativity that clouded my mind.
So I agree with James Clear, it’s crazy to keep mulling and moping over a criticism. Especially, a lone criticism among many compliments.
But why does the average person have a bent for this craziness? Why do we magnify and make a bog
- Is it because the criticism is so unmistakable and painfully different amidst the compliments?
- Maybe it is case of the proverbial bad apple that spoils the whole bunch, of compliments.
- Could it be due to the unattainable expectation to gain everyone’s approval or please everyone. Sadly, ‘you win some, you lose some.’
- There’s always the chance the criticism is a bitter truth. Maybe it’s the only unpopular, but honest opinion out of the thousand.
Whatever the case may be, constructive feedback or destructive criticism; honest praise or unfair remark, it is futile to allow yourself lose sleep or be bogged down. Evaluate the situation, learn the lesson and move on.
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