The Difference Maker

There is always a reason we do the things we do. There is always a motivation for our decisions, and actions/ inaction. They are as varied as we are. But what makes one reason right and the other wrong?

The task may be menial,
and seem unimportant.
The gesture may be trivial
and insignificant.
Provided it is done in love,
It’s the wisest investment;
Based on the greatest commandment –
Birth in us from above.

Love will cause you to make unpopular choices. Yes, difficult choices. Nevertheless, let love distinguish you.

Love unlike that which focuses on one or a few, and excludes others; love unlike that characterised by only torrid pleasurable and fleeting emotions; love unlike today’s highly sexualized and commercialised venture.

But love, all-inclusive, unconditional and other-centred. One that we can live out only because we are enabled.

Today, whoever you are, or aspire to be, let love form your character; Everyday, whatever you do, let love be your motive; wherever you are or plan to go, let love chart your course. Always.

Love is the difference maker.

What motivates you?

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Time Flies

It’s July already!

January was just yesterday. Time flies.

In retrospect, I am reminded of how with our choices, we use or abuse this indispensable gift, time.

With the poem below, I describe my life at different times. Like day and night, I have experienced both parts of the poem repeatedly.

My resolve is to live out the second part, consistently.


Tick, tock, tick, tock…

Continue reading “Time Flies”

Simple & Important, Yet Overlooked: A Solution

Why is it easy to not remember to do simple but important things? I wonder. Why do we lose touch on the nice gestures we did in the past, which our loved ones or friends enjoyed? How come, ‘I love you’, ‘You look good’, ‘The food is tasty’, ‘Thank you’, ‘I am sorry’ are statements one spouse yearns to hear from the other?

Why have the love notes stopped, and sweet texts ceased? Why don’t yesterday’s simple courtesies come naturally today?Is it possible love has ebbed low? Maybe not.

It is possible the need to express love has been taken for granted?

I remember a time when I was jarred to reality with an indictment from my wife: ‘It’s been a long while since you wrote me a love note or poem’.

I do not consider myself a poet but I do have some poems I can boast of. (You can get an eBook that contains some of my poems here.)

Writing is one simple but effective way I express my affection for Njeb is through writing. Writing comes naturally to me. But for some inexplicable reason during that period I slacked.

In response to the indictment, I was defensive and full of excuses (futile efforts at maintaining my pride as a Romantic!). After a while, truth and reason prevailed – I may be doing other things well, but in the area in question I was wanting. Acknowledging that I am guilty as charged, I swallowed my Romantic’s pride, took back my flimsy excuses, and with new resolve I set to put things right. See below my six-line conciliatory piece.

Mylady, without you, life is meaningless;
so intricate like a game of chess.
Away from you my heart is mournful;
so bereft and gravely pitiful.
To lovely times we had, I look backwards;
to better times ahead I look forward.

Not a masterpiece, but my wife was so pleased. There is power in simple things. Simple acts consistently done, in love, yield powerful results.

In every aspect of life, it is easy to forget to do that which is simple but important. The drift is slow and subtle, but sure. With my wife, I gradually drifted from lavish expression of love to almost no intentional love expression.

My antidote for this is to ask my wife periodically, “What am I doing well?” “What do I need to do better?” “Is there anything I used to do that I no longer do?”

Simplistic right. Yes, a simple remedy for forgetting to do the simple but important things of life. But it works.

These prompts for feedback are relevant in all aspects of human relationships. They will help you mine valuable information that will improve your interpersonal skills.

Try it. Ask your friend, spouse or sibling(s) for feedback today.

What ideas can you add, that will prevent the forgetting of simple but important things?

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