Simple & Important, Yet Overlooked: A Solution

Why is it easy to not remember to do simple but important things? I wonder. Why do we lose touch on the nice gestures we did in the past, which our loved ones or friends enjoyed? How come, ‘I love you’, ‘You look good’, ‘The food is tasty’, ‘Thank you’, ‘I am sorry’ are statements one spouse yearns to hear from the other?

Why have the love notes stopped, and sweet texts ceased? Why don’t yesterday’s simple courtesies come naturally today?Is it possible love has ebbed low? Maybe not.

It is possible the need to express love has been taken for granted?

I remember a time when I was jarred to reality with an indictment from my wife: ‘It’s been a long while since you wrote me a love note or poem’.

I do not consider myself a poet but I do have some poems I can boast of. (You can get an eBook that contains some of my poems here.)

Writing is one simple but effective way I express my affection for Njeb is through writing. Writing comes naturally to me. But for some inexplicable reason during that period I slacked.

In response to the indictment, I was defensive and full of excuses (futile efforts at maintaining my pride as a Romantic!). After a while, truth and reason prevailed – I may be doing other things well, but in the area in question I was wanting. Acknowledging that I am guilty as charged, I swallowed my Romantic’s pride, took back my flimsy excuses, and with new resolve I set to put things right. See below my six-line conciliatory piece.

Mylady, without you, life is meaningless;
so intricate like a game of chess.
Away from you my heart is mournful;
so bereft and gravely pitiful.
To lovely times we had, I look backwards;
to better times ahead I look forward.

Not a masterpiece, but my wife was so pleased. There is power in simple things. Simple acts consistently done, in love, yield powerful results.

In every aspect of life, it is easy to forget to do that which is simple but important. The drift is slow and subtle, but sure. With my wife, I gradually drifted from lavish expression of love to almost no intentional love expression.

My antidote for this is to ask my wife periodically, “What am I doing well?” “What do I need to do better?” “Is there anything I used to do that I no longer do?”

Simplistic right. Yes, a simple remedy for forgetting to do the simple but important things of life. But it works.

These prompts for feedback are relevant in all aspects of human relationships. They will help you mine valuable information that will improve your interpersonal skills.

Try it. Ask your friend, spouse or sibling(s) for feedback today.

What ideas can you add, that will prevent the forgetting of simple but important things?

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Life, Death, Life

The utterance, the manifest, the creation;
The dust, the breathe, the man;
The aloneness, the boredom, the drudgery;
The slumber, the rib, the helper.
And life was good!

The serpent, the guile, the quiz;
The fruit, the lie, the scheme;
The sight, the pleasure, the appeal
The command, the breach, my shame.
Then I died!

The fall, the blame, the exit;
The curse, the toil, the pain;
The law, the altar, the failure;
The cross, the death, the resurrection.
Now I live!

If you are not familiar with the story that inspired this piece you can read it up here and here.

Imperfect, But Valuable

‘The world is quite skilled at assaulting us with countless messages—overt and covert—about how to measure our worth.’

I couldn’t agree more with Michele Cushatt, when I read the above words on her blog post recently. Moment by moment we are told to define ourselves by:

  • Where we live
  • What we wear
  • What we drive
  • Who we hang out with
  • How much our net worth shows.

Unfortunately, ‘too often we listen, we buy in. And we frantically try to do what is demanded of us.’ We do our best to fit into the mold, foregoing things that matter most. Only to discover the mold is not what it is cracked up to be – satisfaction sought, not guaranteed.

Sadly, instead of gaining wisdom from experience, the frustration birth by wrong choices is masked and suppressed by a renewed resolve to attain the perfect life ‘against all odds’.

Life, yours inclusive, is imperfect. In spite of all the enhancements man cooks up it can never be perfect. That is why the ‘perfect life’ is always redefined.

But who says imperfection is not okay?

‘Life does not have to be perfect to be wonderful.’
– Annette Funicello

You are imperfect but very valuable, even if it is to just one person on planet earth. Your achievement may seem insignificant; you may even see yourself as a failure, yet you can add value to another.

It does not take lofty pursuits and grand achievements. Value is added mostly through seemingly insignificant actions and words. Their impact is far-reaching because they are carried out and uttered in love.

The task may be menial, and seem unimportant.
The gesture may be trivial and insignificant.
Provided it is done in love, It’s the wisest investment;
Based on the greatest commandment –
Love,
Birth in us from above.

Anyone is capable of adding value to another.

A penniless beggar can offer a smile. (This can achieve much more than you know).

You can offer a listening ear to a friend even though you are broke.

It does not have to cost you a kobo to be kind.

Don’t define yourself by what you have achieved or amassed for yourself. Decide today to make your life count by adding value to others. Intentionally. That is what gives life meaning.

‘Life is not defined by what you have, even when you have a lot.’
– Jesus Christ (Luke 12:15)

How do you define yourself?