Desires of A Father

I am a father again! I am so thrilled, yet terrified.

Thrilled at the miracle and wonder of conception, pregnancy and childbirth; terrified at the responsibility of being father to four children.

This mix of opposite emotions plagued me thirty seven days ago as I held our fourth child in my arms. Once again the possibility that I may fail as a father filled me with dread.

Will I succeed at parenting?

I have asked myself this question over a trillion times, since I gazed on my first child’s face for the first time six years ago. The fact that I am not a greenhorn in parenting did nothing to diminish my fear.

Fatherhood is a wonderful, even enviable opportunity and privilege, for parents to demonstrate a semblance of God’s love for them to their children. Yet it is not a piece of cake. Fatherhood, in today’s increasingly secular and godless culture, is very sobering, if not scary.

I agree with Josh McDowell’s explanation in his book, ‘The Father Connection’ that though

“being a father is the most important and most rewarding job in the world. it is the most frightening!”

Yet I am undaunted!

As a father, I have to finish strong!

My heart’s desire and goal is to be the kind of father:

  • Who takes a cue from God, the model Father, to demonstrate to my children, a semblance of the unconditional love and acceptance God shows me.
  • Who, besides God, is the greatest influence on the lives of his children, especially on matters of spirituality and sexuality.
  • Whose love, care and respect for his wife is so admirable that my daughter will desire to marry someone like their dad, and my sons will resolve to treat their wives likewise.
  • Who is so connected to his children that they are his best friends i.e after my wife, Njeb. And is involved in the lives of his children’s friends.
  • Whose children boldly and unapologetically say no to anything that is against God’s will. I constantly pray for children who will swim upstream, undauntedly against the tide of godlessness and, premarital and immoral sexual pleasures.
  • Whose children are able to make choices, not influenced by their peers or informed by the media, but based on deep convictions informed by the Bible.

These are not wishful thoughts. This is my mission statement as a father.

Parenting is tough, but I believe it is possible to achieve the above, and much more. As long as the ‘Father Connection’ between God and myself is intact, I can, and will become the greatest human influence in the lives of my children, to the glory of God, the model Father.

Are you a father? Probably you hope to be one someday? You can succeed at parenting. You will not fail as a father. Take your cue from the model Father. Put your trust in Him, unreservedly. He gave you the children; He will help father them successfully.

What are you desires, as a father? Not married? You can still answer the question. Are you female? Whether single or married, what are your desires for your man as a father?

Photo Credit: diverseuniversity

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Muse-worthy Quote: Looking Backward

It is beneficial to look backward. Because the passage of time can give better perspective to a past occurrence.

Look backward, not to reminisce, to retrospect.

With reminiscence you only recollect the past. Retrospection helps you review things that have happened.

In retrospect, you can glean information to forge ahead.

I couldn’t agree more with Jim Denison, for a path forward, look backward.

To make the most of your day, make introspection a habit.

Check out these related posts,
How To Make Sense of Life Backward
Living Life Forward

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How To (Not) Show Up

Eighty percent of success is showing up.

There is more to this statement than meets the eye mind. It is pregnant with wisdom that is immediately, not apparent.

Therefore, this Woody Allen statement should not be vitiated with a literal interpretation.

Yes, you could show up, but

  • Late
  • In the wrong place
  • Shabby and sloppy
  • Unexcited (with a not-feeling-like-it mood)
  • Uninvited
  • Unfit
  • Unprepared and clueless etc

If you want a ‘how to’ for showing up foolish, the list above will work perfectly. However, there is no way showing up this way leads to success. Except in Happily Ever After fantasies.

On the other hand, showing up:

  • Punctual
  • At the right place
  • Smart and organised
  • Motivated (even if you don’t feel like it)
  • Invited
  • Capable
  • Prepared and informed

Sets you up for success.

Just showing up, is showing up, foolish.

Learn from the Boys Scouts. Be prepared! Always. Do your best to always show up prepared. Even if you experience failure. The failure and regret that results from a lack of preparation is deeper, by far, than the failure experienced even after preparation. I can relate.

Whatever it is you have decided to do, keep at it. Keep showing up, in spite of circumstances and feelings. You will see it will be worth it, in time.

The task may be insignificant; the person involved may seem unimportant; the cause may not seem worthwhile. Still show up.

It may not come naturally, yet make a habit of showing up. More often than not, it is a struggle for me to keep showing up on this blog with a post every week. I strive to keep at it because I know it is worth the effort.

But remember, just showing up, is showing up, foolish.

You make the most of any day when you show up prepared for that day.