I am a father again! I am so thrilled, yet terrified.
This mix of opposite emotions plagued me forty days ago as I held my third child in my arms. The possibility that I may fail as a father filled me with palpable terror.
Will I succeed at parenting?
I have asked myself this question over a million times, since I gazed on my first child’s face for the first time four years ago. The fact that I am not a greenhorn in parenting did nothing to diminish my fear.
Fatherhood is a wonderful, even enviable opportunity and privilege, to demonstrate a semblance of God’s love for me to my children. Yet it is not a piece of cake. Fatherhood, in today’s increasingly secular and godless culture, is a very sobering, if not scary.
I agree with Josh McDowell’s explanation in his book, ‘The Father Connection’ that though
“being a father is the most important and most rewarding job in the world. it is the most frightening!”
Yet I am undaunted!
As a father, I have to finish strong!
My heart’s desire and goal is to be the kind of father:
- Who takes a cue from God, the model Father, to demonstrate to my children, a semblance of the unconditional love and acceptance God shows me.
- Who, besides God, is the greatest influence on the lives of his children, especially on matters of spirituality and sexuality.
- Whose love, care and respect for his wife is so admirable that my daughter will desire to marry someone like their dad, and my sons will resolve to treat their wives likewise.
- Who is so connected to his children that they are his best friends i.e after my wife, Njeb. And is involved in the lives of his children’s friends.
- Whose children boldly and unapologetically say no to anything that is against God’s will. I constantly pray for children who will swim upstream, undauntedly against the tide of godlessness and, premarital and immoral sexual pleasures.
- Whose children are able to make choices, not influenced by their peers or informed by the media, but based on deep convictions informed by the Bible.
These are not wishful thoughts. This is my mission statement as a father.
Parenting is tough, but I believe it is possible to achieve the above, and much more. As long as the ‘Father Connection’ between God and myself is intact, I can, and will become the greatest human influence in the lives of my children, to the glory of God, the model Father.
Are you a father? Probably you hope to be one someday? You can succeed at parenting. You will not fail as a father. Take your cue from the model Father. Put your trust in Him, unreservedly. He gave you the children; He will help father them successfully.
What is your desire/ goal (as a man), or your desire/goal for your man, regarding fatherhood?