How To Catch the Unspoken

Everyday we give and receive information. Lots of them – via ads, short videos, tweets, chats, posts, books, physical interaction etc. Actually, we are bombarded with much more than we give, and we interact virtually, more than we do physically.

Today, we have traded in the present for virtual reality; we have succeeded in isolating ourselves. It is so easy for you and I to choose our screens over quality time with the people who matter the most, family and friends. We are there with them but not present.

Where we are is the place we are least likely to be.

I am struggling to not be with my phone at meal times. Most times I use it while eating – read emails and surf my social media platforms. I even play games. Word puzzles are my favorite. So when I am racking my brain to solve a puzzle my phone stays with me while I eat.

Experience has taught me that when we are with loved ones, but not present, we miss significantly – great interaction which fosters better bonding. At best, we only hear what is said. Sadly, we fail to listen enough to catch what has not been said.

You see, usually, what we hear more than meets the eyes ears. Much is left unsaid, unintentionally.

This is because we say much more with our actions (body language) than with our voice. Research has shown that over 90% of the meaning of communication comes from what was not said (non-verbal cues).

So you and I must learn to ‘listen between the lines‘.

To do that we must engage our ears, eyes and mind.

  • The ears, to receive verbal communication.
  • The eyes to pick up body language (the bulk of the information)
  • The mind to be present, engaged and process the information.

Do this and you will not fail to catch what has not been said. You will not only experience stronger bonds with family and friends, you will have more fruitful interactions in other spheres.

Though it sounds simplistic, it is easier said than done. But the effort is worth it.

Do this daily, to improve your interpersonal skills, and maintain better relationships with loved ones, friends and colleagues.

To make the most of your day, be intentional, catch the unspoken. Everyday.


You will also like:
Listen Between the Lines
Seizing the Present

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Muse-worthy Quote: Not for the Harbour

In many ways we put a leash around our necks. We choose the ‘safety’ and certainty of the Harbour over the uncertainty and imagined dangers of the ocean. In the process, we limit ourselves and underestimate our capabilities.

When you choose to remain in the harbour, you only get what comes to you, which is sadly, not always much. However, when you venture out, in spite of your fears, there is no limit to the things you can achieve.

Don’t procrastinate.

  • Read that book.
  • Write that book.
  • Start/ resume that workout.
  • Take that break/ rest/ vacation.
  • Work on that idea.
  • Etc.

Venture out of the harbour, if you want to make the most everyday.

Seizing the Present

As the saying goes, ‘What goes around comes around.’

In relation to time, seasons come and go: the sun rises, sets and rises only to set again, and our birthdays and anniversaries come and go. Unfortunately, this recurrence does not mean the restoration of spent time. Actually, it is an indication of the swift passage of time. A tell-tale sign we often ignore. 

Today, we live in a fast-paced world. Everything, powered by technology, is increasingly becoming instant.

  • ATMs, POS terminals and Internet banking have made the transfer and use of funds easier.
  • The internet used on different platforms, especially hand-held devices, has made information available in different formats and at amazing speed.
  • Scientific research is constantly churning out hybridized seeds and animals with the intention to enhance food production without ‘wasting time’.

Ironically, our craving for instant gratification has succeeded, not in helping us make the most of time, but to neglect or abuse the present – where we are, is the place we are least likely to be. We have become so fast-paced because we are easily bored and eager to move to the next best thing, that we fail to see that the present brims with significance.

Where we are, is the place we are least likely to be.

JeNom Makama

What is the significance of the present?

It is primarily, the opportunity for introspection; to make informed plans and wise decisions concerning relationships to form and maintain, and ventures to give ourselves to, and spend our time and resources on.

I need to explain that by seizing the present I am not prescribing existentialism or the fatalism of eat-drink-and-be-merry-for-tomorrow-we-die lifestyle. Neither am I saying seize the present because of a lack of hope for the future.

Instead I want you to make the most of today, never losing sight of tomorrow. Let the promise of tomorrow decide what you pour yourself into today.

Where, except in the present, can the Eternal be met?” asks C.S. Lewis. He believes, and I do as well, that God is always nearest to us Now. Since God is the one person I cannot do without, and He is closest to me now, I’d be a fool not to spend my always with Him.

Make the most of your day, seize the present. Everyday.

How do you make the most of the present?

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